Friends with benefits

Support and advice for any problems with relationships with family, friends, partner
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zara
zara
Posts: 3
Joined: Dec 26th, '17, 09:06

Dec 27th, '17, 22:19

Have you managed to have a casual sexual relationship - friends with 'benefits' successfully?

I have lesbian friends who have tried over the years but with no success. One or both of the people have had their heartbroken.
smily
smily
Posts: 3
Joined: Dec 28th, '17, 10:47

Dec 28th, '17, 10:49

That doesn't work!

You or your girlfriend always end up being hurt.
Been there, done that, so i know what i'm talking about
sarai
sarai
Posts: 1
Joined: Dec 26th, '17, 17:16

Dec 28th, '17, 12:08

I think if you want friends to stay friends, don't fool around with them. It just gets messy and you could possibly end up losing a friend :(
noor
noor
Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 28th, '17, 12:20

Dec 28th, '17, 12:27

i think this only works in movies :)

i wouldn't try it in a hundered years if there is a small change of losing your best friend with it!
Sex shouldn't be a benefit but a real loving between two people.

Just My 2 cents
lieselotte
lieselotte
Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 28th, '17, 13:23

Dec 28th, '17, 13:25

I agree, friends with benefits Always end up with one people being left with a broken heart

Don't start with it if you want to keep that special one!
ellen_d
ellen_d
Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 28th, '17, 20:35

Dec 28th, '17, 20:36

never start it, it's not worth losing a friend, because in the end you both end up with nothing!
no sex, no friends anymore! build up a relationship but don't go for casual sex with a good friend, it simply doesn't work
heidi85
heidi85
Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 28th, '17, 20:44

Dec 28th, '17, 20:48

like all other ladies say, it simply doesn't work and i know it unfortunally!

in 'friends with benefits' there is always somebody wanting more then the other.
Thats not how things work and how quick things break up then, so don't do it if you love your best friend!
charlyn
charlyn
Posts: 3
Joined: Dec 28th, '17, 14:48

Dec 28th, '17, 21:54

i agree with everybody else

it's not a smart idea to go from friends to friends with benefits!
barbara
barbara
Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 28th, '17, 22:57

Dec 28th, '17, 23:04

I think you have to be in the right place in your mind to do that. You have to know yourself. Usually people think they want friends with benefits but actually what they really want deep down is a relationship. In another words: they are fooling themselves.
tittieperle
tittieperle
Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 12th, '18, 13:23

Jan 12th, '18, 14:00

If you want friends with benefits , wich can work perfectly, there are some rules. I speak out of experience as i have somebody for over 2 years who i date for casual sex.

Most important don’t go into such an arrangement thinking, somewhere in the back of your mind, that you can leverage this sexual tryst into a loving relationship. Thats where it goes wrong most! If you want a real relationship invest in it!

Be prepared and willing to be hurt and/or to hurt the friend you are having benefits with. It’s best to do this with someone you are not emotionally attracted to. This is so much better.

Limit the benefits and don’t let them fall into a pattern. A couple times a month is easier to handle emotionally than a weekly or regular routine. When you are in “friend” mode at a party or whatever, be a regular friend. No flirting, smooching or romantic overtures.

Have sex but don’t make love. Don’t say words of love or encouragement. This is not a romance, there’s a difference between love and lust. The sex can and should be very selfish.

Texts should never be romantic and they should never say how amazing last night was. Don’t exchange gifts. Talk about your activity like it’s a cup of coffee. Set the time and place like it’s an appointment for getting your dog groomed.

If you can meet these rules, then jump on the train and give it a try. If for some reason one of these rules is too much for you then don't try it as you will end up with a broken heart.

Happy dating ladies
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